Obviously I have not been able to write. In fact, I have not been able to much of anything actually. The air is thick and it's difficult to breath. Walking through life... I might as well be trudging through mud. Nearly seven months have passed and I can see it in their eyes and in their actions; I can hear it in their voices... The world has moved on and grown weary of my misery.
I can't write about Willem in the way that I had promised. No power. No will.
I press my face in to the cold glass and hold it there; I kiss it. Eyes wet, I lift my face and stare at his photo. I miss him so much.
Willem -- only days before he was stricken with HLH -- leisurely walking, straw in mouth, not a care in the world. A healthy 9 year old boy.
I still think about all of you and how you are doing. I still pray for you. I still can't imagine what this is like for you. I never had a classmate of my son's die before. Your daughter is in second grade with my daughter this year. I wonder how it affects her life. I know this isn't easy and that is why it stays on my mind to pray for you and hope you are coping better each day.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kathy. We are coping (I think). Some days are better than others I guess is all I can say. Thank you for thinking of us -- it does help.
DeleteTom and Erin,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing Willem with me. I am a business acquaintance of Tina Granzo's and she sent me a link to your blog. I read the entire thing tonight. I hope in time the air is less thick and the mud gives way to the shores of Lake Charlevoix. I know Willem is with you and always will be.
I live in Lowell, MI, but am in Florida at the moment, helping my 45 year old Daughter who is dying of breast cancer. Here is a poem I wrote the other day. May it give you some small peace.
As much a part of my world as the wind.
As a solitary sprout uniting all life.
As a perfect fruit from the Mother tree.
Child.
Mine.
With you in spirit,
Gail Lowe
Thank you for sharing your poem Gail. I wish you did not have to experience what you are experiencing -- I'm so sorry. It is truly unfair.
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