Willem -- only days before he was stricken with HLH -- leisurely walking, straw in mouth, not a care in the world. A healthy 9 year old boy.

Monday, December 24, 2012

CHRISTMAS 2012

Liliana had a school friend over yesterday and this friend must’ve told her mother that we didn’t have a Christmas tree and that our home was, apart from paper snowflakes the children made, bereft of any Christmas decorations, because we came home from a friend’s house to find a tiny Christmas tree by the door of our garage.

Christmas this year is less something that is celebrated and more something that must be endured; it is a project; a term paper due in a day and the only thing written is the reminder that it is due.  This tree is symbolic of the notion that, although it can be ignored, it cannot be forgotten.  This tree stands as a symbol of the community that continues to rise from unexpected places to help us stand during this, our worst of all, Christmases, and remember that there is still love and hope in this world.  Even for a grumpy, angry, and depressed old man and his scarred but still perfect family.

There is an unwillingness to accept that there is still hope and still a future yet I continue to seek, reach out for, and drink of, the random charitable offerings.  I look at this tree and I feel two opposing views as to what it can represent.  There is the thought that this tree pales in comparison to our trees of the past, to the happiness of other Christmases, and proves more as an irritating reminder that this Christmas is horribly painful and a weak attempt at happiness.  With very little effort, however, I force myself to live inside the caring thoughts of a little girl who saw our emptiness and felt the need to fill our void.  This is how I shall look at this tree.

****** THANK YOUs ******

Thank you to Liliana’s classmate.  We are thankful that your Christmas spirit is big enough to share for we have none.

Thank you to whomever left a living Christmas tree, beautifully decorated with origami, on our doorstep this morning.  Thank you for caring and putting smiles on my children’s faces.  

2 comments:

  1. Although I do not know you, I have been reading your words about your son, Willem. I thought you would perhaps find some comfort in this blog: An Inch of Gray. This family lost their son in a tragic accident. He was of a similar age to your son. I am holding you in my heart and I am so sorry for your loss.
    http://aninchofgray.blogspot.com/2012/12/beforeafter.html

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  2. It can sometimes be very difficult to remember "there's still love and hope in this world," which is where random acts of kindness serve as great reminders.

    -Calvin

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