8/23 640am

I just received a call from Willem's bedside nurse that started out wonderful but, as is the nature of... um... this, it has to end on a low note. I answered the phone in a rush-out-of-bed stupor and tried to take it all in but all that's really sticking in my head is, "Willem's doing great, we watched Cars twice last night..." and "... but he had three bloody stools."

Looking at my notes now and seeing that I didn't take notes that made much sense either. I remember my legs wanting to collapse from underneath me while writing the note:

"3 bloody stools
white blood cells
down because of chemo
Oxygen cau
Hemoglobin going
down: coagulation
improving"

(It's on a yellow sticky note so that's why it's all truncated)

Sigh... I do not know what to make of this news. I did ask how worried I should be but Nurse said something like this: "I can't answer that but(medical blah blah) and (chemical this and that) Willem is stable and vitals are good."

I feel that this was a call to make sure I didn't get too far away from that pit of despair (because I was feeling a little better last night) but I am going to choose to hear it as: Willem watched cars last night and his vitals are good. So, Go Willem! Beat this thing and come home!

Some Thank yous:
Thank you Michael for still being so awesome. And for holding me accountable today.
Thank you Paul. It was good talking to you; you have a good heart.
Thank you Cousin Tony
Thank you Aunt Sandy -- It was so wonderful hearing your voice and laughing and talking with you last night.
Thank you Stacy for the song and trip down memory lane
Thank you Brett for the call, fun chat, and hopefully we can meet up for lunch today.
Thank you Adrienne for the words.