In an attempt to comfort Willem, and myself I suppose, I manage to squeeze into a spot next to him in his bed. He raised his shaking arm and put it around my neck and I snuggled next to him and stroked his hair.
His hair is falling out. My baby's hair is falling out and my world is coming apart.
Another IV drip alarm. Another cycle complete. Six IV drips -- six different cycles with six different times. Cycles complete like a snooze alarm.
The nurse tells me that at least one parent spends the night.
Willem lay awake. Restless. Agitated.
Daddy stares at walls and fools himself.
Willem pulls out his feeding tube.
Intimate.
Willem -- only days before he was stricken with HLH -- leisurely walking, straw in mouth, not a care in the world. A healthy 9 year old boy.
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